Once upon a time, there was this girl. Not very big at all, a tiny little thing really. She had an attitude, and a spirit nobody could break. She was tough, and attacked each new day without fear. What she lacked in size, she made up for in heart. She was fearless, reckless and just a little too confident. She lived in your mind and spoke with a voice only you could hear. When she couldn’t stand still neither could you. Find her.

Maybe one morning she made you braid your hair in pigtails and run outside barefoot, across a field and up the side of a tree. Maybe you snuck out and skipped chores to play ‘hobo,’ rolling your jeans up and wading into the cold creek searching for crawfish and tadpoles. Maybe she took you on a headfirst slide into home, scoring the winning run for your team. Maybe she gave you a reason to shoot a little higher. Find her.

Maybe the girl running around in your memory is now a woman you see in the mirror every morning who has lost her way. If you didn’t live up to all of her demands, then maybe there’s still something left to prove. If you can believe. She’s still there; ready to lead you home; if you can keep up. And maybe she is wondering if you will take up the chase… Find her.

*****

Who was that girl? Where did she come from? Why did she always sound so familiar? As if you had met her before, perhaps in a dream, or in another time and place entirely. Find her. She spoke with the voice of the generations before you, the ones who paved the way. Untold strength and wisdom laid behind her eyes, dancing like coals of a summer bonfire, waiting for you to kindle them into a flame. But you had to prove your worth, she would give you nothing. You would have to earn it. Find her.

You had the tools already; the blood of your ancestors flowing in your veins, their passion running wild in your young soul. The women of your heritage, your past, everything she showed you; you could be. You were too young to understand what it all meant, but you were already a part of something much bigger than anything you could have ever created alone. Find her.

*****

Where is that girl that lived in your mind? Quite often you wanted to be like her, always taken in by the chance of trying to beat her at her own game. She was ponytails to your barrettes. Blue jeans to your Sunday dress. An a-minus to your b-plus. When you threw like a girl, she threw harder. She believed in you more than you did, and expected more out of you because of it. When you backed down, she stood firm, quick to glare at you until you rejoined her. When you got tired she was the voice begging, “Just one more step.” She went by your name, stood in your shadow and followed you everywhere…Find her.

She was a part of the way you thought, the way you spoke, the way you walked. The two of you began to grow. When she got older, tougher, smarter…so did you. She would not let you go through the motions. She lived through the idea that it’s not how good you are, it’s how bad you want it, and how much heart you would give to get there. She reminded you, “Never settle.” She was patient, but ever persistent. She challenged you; sometimes you took her up on it. When you fell down, she was there. She would reach down her hand, dry your tears and whisper, “C’mon, get up. Try again.” And you did. She would smile, and the chase would start again. No matter where you went, how fast you ran or how hard you pushed her, she was always right beside you, never within your reach, and somehow always on your side. Find her.

She gave fair warning she could achieve more than you if you let her. She was the one who drove you, showing you what you could achieve if you tried just a little bit harder next time. She said your doors would open only if you gave them a serious push. If you wanted to be somebody, she told you it would mean taking on a wicked amount of pain, but she would never leave you, you would get there together… Find her.

*****

Where has she gone? The one inside who pushed you. Is she gone forever, a memory forgotten? Or is she right here right now. Looking through your eyes…asking once again if you have what it takes. Find her. You have grown up, aged, and changed who you are. But she is still there, unchanged and unwavering in her little girl tenacity, just as you remember her. Never forget that little girl inside.

The one who made you unafraid to try new things and take new risks. The face in your mirror who dared you to dream, then pushed you to make it your reality. The one who instilled in you a hatred of failure and a love of success. She showed you how it felt to hoist the trophies of success high above your head, and she held your hand when you fell to the shadows of second place. The one who can still urge you to become better than you think you deserve. She had no fear of taking chances. Perhaps neither do you. You know she is there, she is you. Find her, remember who she was. And you will be her once again. But you must give up who you are now. She won’t let you have it both ways; you’re either in or out; there can be no middle ground.

You have to change who you are used to being. You must transform into who she once pushed you to be. Quicker. Tougher. Smarter. And it will take everything you’ve got. When it starts to hurt, and it will, then you have to look inside yourself and find your inner fire. You will have to force yourself beyond your own limits. You can never say “No.” It will take tears, strength and a whole hell of a lot of courage. You will sweat, stumble and fall. Grit your teeth and get back up. You will never be the same person again; you will be better. She will tell you nobody can do it for you but you, and she will be right. But that is what making a mark is all about. If you don’t give up on you she certainly won’t. Find her.

*****

Is that girl gone? No. She never left. She was there the last time you pushed yourself just a little farther than you thought you could go. She was there when you decided to stand up for something you believed in, or defend someone you cared about. When you knelt to say your bedtime prayers, she prayed for you. The times when you cried yourself to sleep, she cried too. The first time you put on your uniform and got pre-game butterflies, so did she. Find her.

She was there the first race you ran and the first meet you placed in. That very first finish line you crossed, winning goal you kicked or the first time you slid into second base safely. The first time your team lost a hard fought battle and you cried on the bus ride home. She was a direct reflection of you. When you lost, she was a loser. When you fought, she was a fighter. When you won, she was a winner. When you worked together, you were a team. Find her. She taught you to play with the confidence that you had nothing to prove, but with the intensity that you had everything to prove. When you finally realized you had greatness in you, she smiled. Somewhere between the athlete you had become, the practices, the coaches who had pushed you, the games you had played in, the races you had ran, the long time dedication, injuries you had fought through and the friendships you made along the way, you found her. She is still that little girl who fell in love with the game, who fell in love with life. Play, live and fight for her.

Have the determination to be willing to run without a finish line. Set your mind and your body to it, and let nothing on earth stop you. Believe in her as she believes in you. Because she is right here, she never left. In your heart are her smile, fearless spirit, and the undying courage that only lives inside a little girl. It’s all there inside of you; right where she will stay until you decide to…

Find her.

-KB